Sitting quietly with a cup of tea this morning, watching the cockatoos bicker in the gum tree in my front garden, I had a thought. Well, more than a thought, a bloody bright idea. One of those "so obvious, why didn't I think of it before" flashes of inspiration.

Rewind a little. When I talk to couples about writing their personal vows, I always suggest that they start with dot points*. Just jot down indicative words for what you want to promise one another. And then I talk through how to develop those thoughts into a vow they can read on the day or repeat after me. But I also tell them that, if they wish, they can send their dot points to me and I'll put words round them and send them back for them to get out their red pens. It is often easier to edit that to start with a blank sheet of paper trying to write sentences and paragraphs.

*  an item in a list that has a large dot in front of it to signify its importance. Also called bullet points.